How to Change How You Think

The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, out of the thousands of thoughts about 95% of them thoughts are the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

Irrespective to the statistics, I think it is fair to say that when we do some self-reflection, we find that many of the thoughts that we have are not beneficial to our own sense of well-being.

An alarming 80% of our thoughts are negative. So if 80% of our thoughts are negative, and if you were to blindly listen to your thoughts, you would rarely feel positive. Thinking in itself isn’t all bad, sometimes we do need to have negative thoughts to understand what we do not like, process our emotions and it is a part of the human experience.

I think a pivotal point in my journey through life was realizing that I am not the thoughts that come to my mind, rather I am the observer of the thoughts that come to my mind. A driver with an overbearing passenger at times, so to speak.

In my newfound realization it became easier to be in control of the decisions I made, as I knew that the thoughts that I had did not need to have an impact on the decisions I made. Accountability and self-responsibility became the cornerstones of my life.

I realized I had way more control than I thought I did, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! This was the initial reaction I had to my revelation, but quickly I became overly critical as I realized I was the only one at fault, as my thoughts were not an excuse for a poorly made decision.

So now, back to the drawing board, there has to be something I am missing, I know how much control I have, I try not to let my thoughts impact my actions and I have separated my thoughts from my identity, so what’s left? Through weeks of self-exploration, pondering and ruminating I knew exactly what was missing from my thinking process.

Self-acceptance.

Real change can only occur when we accept ourselves as we are, the flawed individual, with imperfections, bad habits. Accepting yourself as you are, the thoughts you have, makes change so much more accessible because you are not running from who you are, but running into who you are destined to be. My thinking process became, try make the best decision given the information that you have in front of you and if you make mistakes learn from them and keep moving forward!

Learning to be kind to yourself, and practicing forgiveness when you fall short, also becomes crucial in this journey of changing how you think. Over time, this shift in mindset can result in a more balanced, positive outlook on life. With patience and perseverance, you can indeed reshape your thought patterns.

It’s important to remember that change is a process, not an event. You may find yourself slipping back into old thought patterns from time to time, but it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Simply acknowledge this as a part of the process, gently steer your thoughts back on track, and keep moving forward.

Building on the concept of self-acceptance, it’s also essential to understand that self-growth and change don’t mean a total transformation or becoming a different person. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself. You don’t need to discard your past or your experiences, instead learn to integrate your past and present self.

Start by recognizing the thought patterns that are not serving you well. This could be thoughts of self-doubt, fear, guilt, or any negative emotion. Once you have identified these, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary?” This way, you can begin to dismantle these unhelpful thoughts and replace them with more positive, beneficial ones.

In addition to challenging your thoughts, it’s also important to cultivate positive thinking. One way to do this is through gratitude. By regularly acknowledging and appreciating what you have, you can shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right, leading to more positive thoughts.

Remember, this isn’t about denying or suppressing your negative thoughts. It’s about acknowledging them, understanding them, and then choosing to focus on the positive. It’s about taking control of your thoughts, rather than letting them control you.

Finally, be patient with yourself. Changing thought patterns is a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks, but each step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Celebrate these small victories and use them as motivation to keep going.

In conclusion, changing how you think is a powerful tool for improving your mental well-being and overall quality of life. With self-awareness, self-acceptance, and a commitment to change, you can start to shift your thought patterns towards a more positive, beneficial direction.